“If you can speak three languages you're trilingual. If you can speak two languages you're bilingual. If you can speak only one language you're an American.”
Rarely am I the first to complain about the United States. Not that I will ignore its shortcomings while garbed in USA wear, fist clenched in the air, screaming ‘AMURICAAAAA FAWK YEA!’ (though the latter has been known to happen), but I am more than content calling it my home. Granted, I have not seen every place on earth, therefore comparisons would be incomplete at best. My world conquest is a work in progress, yet still I am confident I would gladly retain my national residency in the United States.
However, you know what really grinds my gears? The “I SHOULDN’T HAVE TO PRESS 1 FOR ENGLISH IN AMERICA!” mentality that seems to have spawned exponentially over the past few months. This is the most absurd notion that I have had and continue to have the displeasure of encountering. Literally, I am as physically uncomfortable listening to this statement as when unintelligent (and clearly delusional) bystanders proclaim their distaste for Lady Gaga.
I cannot fathom how this argument is supported. Really, I can’t. I try to be fair and reasonable, like the charming person that I am, and give ample opportunity for thoughtful debate. Admittedly, during said debate I’m distracting envisioning horrific methods of pain I’d rather be inducing than even pretending to entertain this narrow mindset. Let’s examine.
“This is America. Learn English or Get the Hell Out”. Are you joking? You think your feeble attempts to master the English language give you a rite of passage as a United States citizen? Ironic that most of the supporters of this argument are only fluent in the slang of the English language, while they still butcher ‘they’re’, ‘there’, and ‘their’. Perhaps we should give into this demand, incorporate a standardized testing in advanced English, and require each person whom fails purchase a one-way flight ticket to “get the hell out”.
“English is the most popular language in the United States”. Well, at least your math skills are somewhat better than your ability to read and write… for now. If you think this argument holds water, how about we wait a few years and watch the demographical shift as the number of Spanish-speaking Americans outnumber the English-speaking. Then what? Your logic would justify not only pressing a button for English, but subsequently demoting English to the number 2 button.
I’m embarrassed to Google any additional arguments, so I’ll stop there. To be fair, by no means am I sitting in my cave aggressively whipping out this entry to vent, but it does help. Plus I’m a pretty positive guy, so we’ll switch the tone a little bit, and keep on truckin. Still buckled in?
This topic has been brewing in my head for some time. Furthermore, since l started living in a country that spoke a different language, I have come to truly appreciate the ability to communicate. I remember writing my college-entrance essay on a memory as a camp counselor for our middle school camp program. One of my campers was Mexican-American, and by his isolation, I could tell wasn’t as comfortable with English. The other campers surely didn’t mind teasing him, but were shocked when the camper and I could communicate in Spanish. Suddenly they were on the outside unable to communicate and felt uncomfortable.
Though I’ve been “studying” Spanish since 8th grade, I will readily admit I feel as though I have just recently accomplished the tip of iceberg in comprehension. I have yet to despair, however. In fact, the move to Spain has re-sparked my desire to continuing learning.
I spent the past weekend in Brussels. Aside from the delightful collection of beer, chocolate, and waffles, Brussels is also fascinating in terms of linguistic demographics; the population is a mesh of German and French. We didn’t even realize until arrival that no one in our group was fluent in either language. Thankfully, Wittle Wiz had a high school understanding of French that helped us survive. But rather than the two languages fighting tooth and nail for the “number 1 button”, they seemed to have embraced each other. Not to mention everyone there also knows English and/or Spanish.
And while I attempt to assimilate my life into a different language, I can’t express how comforting it is to have English options. Whether dealing with finances, phone contracts, etc, there is an immense relief knowing I haven’t royally screwed up my life with one signature or transaction.
If it does indeed help you to sleep at night knowing you have a slightly better understanding of the English language than an immigrant whom is new to the English language, allow me to rip your sheets off and dump a bucket of ice water on your face. The United States is indeed still melting pot of cultures. Language is culture. You should want to learn other languages. You can choose your motivation. Will it be for a practical reason, like a positive addition to your resume? Or the idealist desire to connect and understand people of other backgrounds. Of course, when your daily life depends on these connections and understanding, as globalization has made possible and prominent, this in essence is perhaps the most practical reason.
A lasting memory from the trip was the plane ride from Brussels to Madrid. The people occupying the seats next to me were whispering in Chinese to each other, the family in front of me was happily discussing their upcoming trip to Madrid in French, a mother was comforting her newborn in Spanish, while two younger siblings were chatting in German behind me. It was priceless listening to the flight attendants make each announcement over the loudspeaker in four different languages. You can imagine the take-off preparations took longer than usual. But hey, life abroad is already passing by too quickly. Why rush?
